Day 192: Dissolve

It’s been an odd day that has me thinking a lot about change and transition.

Today was my last day on campus at my old job. On Monday, I will be starting my first full day at my new job in North Carolina.

But actually, I will be back on campus at my old job a week from today. I still have a couple of loose ends to tie up before I turn in my keys, my ID, and my parking pass. So instead of saying “Goodbye” to my Program Assistant today, I said “See you next week.”

And since I’m coming back to Atlanta on Thursday night to finish packing, I’m planning to see some friends that weekend as well–and probably get in a last climb at our gym. So instead of saying farewell, I’ve been making plans for when and where to meet.

So even though we have this big transition on the horizon, the shift from one life to another is, in this instance, not as clear cut as I might have imagined some time back. To put it in movie terms: where I had expected a jump cut, I’m finding a dissolve.

It makes for a very different experience of leaving.

Perhaps, though, it’s just good, old-fashioned denial kicking in. Perhaps things will look differently in retrospect. In three months’ time, perhaps all I will see is a clear-cut line between then and now.

For now, though, there’s not a lot of black and white. It’s all a bit gray.

To be honest, I suppose I have been in this middle zone for a little while now. What’s a bit surprising, though, is to discover, like some odd version of Zeno’s paradox,  just how many steps it takes to cross a threshold.

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