Day 254: Shake

Nope, even though I am very happy at my new job and in my new home in my new town, I didn’t expect that I would suddenly live a problem-free life.

So today I had a bad day. Well, let me put that more precisely: this morning started off badly, and I’ve had a hard time shaking it all day.

Everyone stayed up just a little too late last night, so this morning, everyone was just a little too tired. We all made it out the door and to school without being late, but not without a lot of fussing, and stress, and yes even some raised voices.

I’m all about being human and allowing myself–and others–mistakes, but for whatever reason, I have been in a bit of a funk all day. Well, not without respite. Certainly I had bright moments and pleasant conversations, but there was still that undercurrent that I couldn’t quite shake.

And tonight has been the same way.

So here I am, at 9:33, still trying to shake it off.

I’m reminded of a practice that my dissertation advisor shared with me years ago (in addition to being a great faculty role model, she was also pretty tuned in on mindfulness meditation). It’s a simple practice of watching emotions as they arise, labeling them, and then watching them dissipate.

Because isn’t it really an illusion that “all day” I’ve been in a funk? I’ve felt all sorts of things today, but what I keep “re-feeling” (and that’s what resentment means, right?) is a kind of emotional hangover from a stressful morning.

So maybe I’m done with shaking.

Maybe I need to take a little time to sit still, observe… and let go.

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