For the past 50 days, I have managed to blog every day, and to get something posted before the stroke of midnight. That is, until last night.
Here’s what happened. I had packed up all the books that I was planning to give away and placed them by the front door to take to school. It was about 11:30, which gave me a half hour to write a short post. And that’s when my wife asked me to help her with a setting on her phone that she couldn’t get to work.
So what did I do? Well, what else was there to do? I became irritable, impatient, and argumentative. In short, I became a jerk.
Ah, the wonderful ironies of life: here I am, trying to live simply and mindfully in the moment–and then there I go, creating unnecessary complications and conflict just because I couldn’t do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it.
So we got through whatever problem she was having with her settings (which took much longer than necessary because of my charming attitude), and I finished last night’s entry–a little after midnight.
And yes, I apologized for being impatient and in general acting like a three-year-old. And of course, she accepted my apology–my wife is not one to nurse a grudge (unlike some people). But when I woke up this morning, I started to think about what else I could do, other than offer words, to show my wife (and yes, to show myself too) that I understood that at some level, all of our actions have consequences that subtly shape what’s possible for our lives and our world as each moment unfurls before us.
What I really wanted to focus on today was the simple act of mending: seeing what needs fixing, and choosing to fix it.
And that’s why I ordered my wife the replacement parts for the two broken car handles on the van.
The van has had broken handles on the driver’s side for about a month now. First the rear door handle snapped off under the brute strength of our eight-year-old. Then the driver door handle snapped off about a week later. I told my wife I would order the parts online, and when they arrived, I would repair it myself.
And then, I completely forgot to order them.
So today, I ordered car handles. Because sometimes it’s good to buy flowers. And sometimes it’s good to order auto parts.