Day 51: Mend

For the past 50 days, I have managed to blog every day, and to get something posted before the stroke of midnight. That is, until last night.

Here’s what happened. I had packed up all the books that I was planning to give away and placed them by the front door to take to school. It was about 11:30, which gave me a half hour to write a short post. And that’s when my wife asked me to help her with a setting on her phone that she couldn’t get to work.

So what did I do? Well, what else was there to do? I became irritable, impatient, and argumentative. In short, I became a jerk.

Ah, the wonderful ironies of life: here I am, trying to live simply and mindfully in the moment–and then there I go, creating unnecessary complications and conflict just because I couldn’t do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it.

So we got through whatever problem she was having with her settings (which took much longer than necessary because of my charming attitude), and I finished last night’s entry–a little after midnight.

And yes, I apologized for being impatient and in general acting like a three-year-old. And of course, she accepted my apology–my wife is not one to nurse a grudge (unlike some people). But when I woke up this morning, I started to think about what else I could do, other than offer words, to show my wife (and yes, to show myself too) that I understood that at some level, all of our actions have consequences that subtly shape what’s possible for our lives and our world as each moment unfurls before us.

What I really wanted to focus on today was the simple act of mending: seeing what needs fixing, and choosing to fix it.

And that’s why I ordered my wife the replacement parts for the two broken car handles on the van.

The van has had broken handles on the driver’s side for about a month now. First the rear door handle snapped off under the brute strength of our eight-year-old. Then the driver door handle snapped off about a week later. I told my wife I would order the parts online, and when they arrived, I would repair it myself.

And then, I completely forgot to order them.

So today, I ordered car handles. Because sometimes it’s good to buy flowers. And sometimes it’s good to order auto parts.

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8 Responses to Day 51: Mend

  1. Tamara says:

    Way, way better than flowers!

  2. revdarkwater says:

    Just so “yes!” And a guy-hug to you for making it to 50 days/posts … you know, those ones in which we pound each other’s backs … I think anytime before sunrise counts! There have been days I’ve gritted my teeth and got it done ’cause I thought, “Mark/joshdaddy will, so I can too.” Thanks for inspiration.

  3. Hello Mark.

    I have seen myself as on a Spiritual Journey of Growth, or whatever, since 1999, and quite recently I realised that what I wanted from it was not to feel emotions with which I felt uncomfortable. Never gonna happen. So now I catch myself in such wishes and think,

    No.
    Never gonna happen.

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