Wow, this so feels like a cheat today. I mean, come on: nap??!?
I went back and forth with titles before I got started here. I’ve been trying not to recycle challenges by name, though certainly there are plenty of repeating themes. So no “Rest” for today, or “Pace,” or even “Restore.” It was after typing and deleting the word “Recharge” that I gave up and forced myself to write what I really needed to do right now in order to address my most pressing concerns.
I needed to nap.
Now I don’t nap by habit. In fact, if I am sleeping during the day, usually one of my kids will ask me if I’m sick, or if something is wrong. As I’ve noted before, it’s definitely a struggle for me to admit–or even realize– that I’m pushing myself too hard. No matter how run down I start feeling, my “natural” impulse is to push myself just a little bit further. Toward what, though? A sense of accomplishment? Fulfillment? Pride, that I can “get by” without tending to basic human needs? Well, that sounds healthy and admirable, doesn’t it?
So I’m tired, and it’s been a tiring week. And as it so happens, this evening I’m entirely alone in the house. Sure, there are work tasks and home tasks that I could tend to, but not now.
Once I finish writing the next couple of sentences, I am going to go into my bedroom, get out a book, and start to read–with every intention of shutting my eyes before I get past the second or third page.
Not a very exciting entry today, I know. But I have to remind myself, every now and then, that the purpose of writing this blog is to help me focus on what’s really important right in front of me. And right now, I can think of no more enjoyable way to live deliberately than to make a conscious choice to sleep briefly, and deeply… and then to awaken to the remainder of my day.