Another one of those “out of my comfort zone” days.
It always amuses me when people tell me that I seem at ease at social gatherings. The truth is that I often feel awkward, out of place, and without much to say. Perhaps everyone feels that way, and we are all better actors than we realize….
Tonight, we had a work-related annual dinner, held at a posh resort just down the road. By this point at work, I definitely have some familiar faces to turn to, but no matter how you cut it, I am still the new guy, and most of my colleagues have worked together for close to a decade, if not longer.
So my goal tonight: just to feel at ease–to feel like I belonged where I was at. Because of course I do (as one commenter on this blog noted a couple of months back, “wherever you go, there you are.”) And I know that. Intellectually at least. But I don’t always feel it.
So that was my goal tonight–not to be the life of the party or the liveliest wit, but just to be one many invited guests. And for the most part it worked. Off an on at least. I mingled, I made small talk, and I blended in. I don’t know if I would go as far as to say I was where I was supposed to be, but in those moments of ease, I was definitely where I was–instead of caught up in my head.
Oh, and the grilled salmon was amazing. Good food always helps me be in the moment!