Day 215: Gain

Posted on August 3, 2014 by joshdaddy

We took a hike along the Little Wilson again to do some climbing. It’s been cold and drizzly for the past few days, so when we got two days of sun in a row, it seemed like a good time to get out on the rock.

I took all four kids–yes, four. My nephew, who came down with his brother, parents, and grandparents last week for a visit, stayed on for an additional week. It’s been fun introducing him to our neck of the woods.

In all honesty, it’s just my oldest boy and I who are climbing these days. My middle boy seems turned off–for the time being only, I hope–and my youngest harnessed up for a climb today, but didn’t feel like pushing past the first couple of hard moves. Instead, she went exploring and even braved the chilly waters for a dip in the swimming hole.

I know, I know: not a whole lot to report today, and no new paradigm-shifting insights. Just a laid-back day of hiking, climbing, and exploring in the woods.

And I can’t think of anything better that I could have done with this day.

I think I’m still in that mode where all of this still seems like vacation. Slowly, though, it is dawning on me that I really am living a new version of my everyday life.

So what did I do to live just a little more simply today? I can’t think of one single thing. But I do feel that I am starting to gain a perspective on just what “living simply” might mean up here in the mountains.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Day 214: Defer

Posted on August 2, 2014 by joshdaddy

Today, I ran into a bit of a problem with the whole de-cluttering thing.

We still have lots of boxes and bags lying around the house. I have been trying to tackle little pieces every day, but there is quite a bit more to do. So this morning, I tackled a tote bag of old photographs that I hadn’t sorted through in the Big Photo Purge. Just like in that big tub of photographs, this bag contained lots of duplicates, out of focus shots, and just plain old uninteresting photography, so I made pretty rapid work getting through stacks and stacks of photographs.

And then my wife came into the room.

She sat down next to me and started to pull out photograph after photograph out of the discard pile. And she was not happy.

At all.

So she got irritated. Then I got irritated. Then she got more irritated. And so on.

Once the emotions settled down though, it was pretty clear to both of us what was really going on here. I had saved some pictures, but I had also decided to throw away a lot. And some of those pictures were of my wife’s father.

Sure, I had saved some really good pictures of my father-in-law, but the fact that I was throwing away any picture of my wife’s father was just unbearable.

And I got it.

So at that point, I decided to walk away from the photographs. I encouraged my wife to keep as many as she liked, or just throw the whole lot into a bag and sort through them later.

There would be time enough to return to this little task. For now, though, the best thing to do is nothing at all.

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Day 213: Sync

Posted on August 2, 2014 by joshdaddy

We took a trip down the Nolichucky River today. We did a nine-mile stretch, with quite a few sections of Class III and Class IV rapids. We had a blast, but it also provided a great reminder of how important it is to be in sync with the people–and the environment–around me.

If you have ever been in a raft with multiple people, each with his or her own oar, then you know how important it is to move your paddles in unison. No, we did not learn this lesson the hard way; other than getting pinned briefly on a rock, we did quite well working our way down the river. And the reason is, I am sure, because we were working together.

And the same is true of the raft itself as it moved down the river. The Nolichucky is constantly changing. Since it is a natural river without a dam to regulate its flow, its level fluctuates with rainfall. And since it wends its way through a deep gorge, there are always new rocks finding their way into the river. Our guide had been down the river dozens of times, but each time, he said, was something new. And his goal each time: to keep the boat in sync with the ebbs and flows of the river, allowing all that flowing energy of the river to carry us forward without crushing us into the rock.

Of course, in some ways it’s easier to be in sync on the rapids of a river than in the flow of everyday life. Swirling whitewater gets your attention–and you learn quickly that you can’t fight that kind of force. Nor can you simply “go with the flow” (unless you want to end up on the rock).

But off the river, and in my daily life, it’s a lot easier to think that I need to fight my way toward my destination, or that the best solution is always to strike out on my own, regardless of the actions of others.

I was happy to have such a positive reminder of how rewarding it can be to be in sync.

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Day 212: Befriend

Posted on July 31, 2014 by joshdaddy

So I think I made a new friend today.

I had a lunch meeting with a colleague in another department. We have a number of overlapping research interests, and we are both new to the university. It turns out that she and her husband have two boys just about the same age as my two boys. They both love outdoor activities, and like my boys, they do not know anyone else in the area. We agreed that we should get our families together soon.

After living in the same city, more or less, for twenty years, it’s a bit odd not to know anyone. That’s not entirely true, of course. My wife does have relatives in the area (and if you count second and third cousins, she has a lot of relatives up here).

But friends are something else.

I think I’ve said it before, but to be honest, there isn’t a lot that I miss about Atlanta.

Banh mi sandwiches. My climbing gym. And my friends.

And not necessarily in that order.

The good news is: I don’t really have to say goodbye to my friends in Atlanta. They are very much knit into the person I have become over all those years–and I’d like to think that I’ve become a part of their lives as well. But I also know that I will continue to grow and change and blend into this new life of ours that is just starting off. And I know that I will find new like-minded friends with whom I will be sharing this journey.

It’s probably true, though, that the friendships I make at this stage in my life–at the start of my fiftieth year–will have a different texture to them than friendships from an earlier decade. It’s hard to imagine growing as close to new friends as I grew to the people I shared my daily life with in my thirties and forties.

But then again, I am sure that there is something new to be learned in the friendships I make now. And I’m looking forward to discovering just what those relationships will bring.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Day 211: Wander

Posted on July 30, 2014 by joshdaddy

Today I made a point of wandering about.

I’m getting to know my new campus, but every trip from one building to another is still an adventure. So today, when I needed to head off to a new destination–the bookstore–my first instinct was to follow one of the paths I already knew toward where I thought the bookstore should be. Instead, I tried heading off down another path, down some stairs I had never noticed before. It wasn’t such a radically different route–my building is at the highest point on campus, so all paths eventually lead down to roughly the same area–but just that little intentional act of heading in an unknown direction was enough to open my eyes just a little more to all that is still so new all around me.

It’s odd to realize how quickly I can fall into routines and familiar habits. And the moment things become familiar, the more likely I am to stop noticing what was so fresh and amazing just the other day. This morning, for example–did I feel the same wonder when I drove past the cattle pasture on the way to work? Did I even notice if the cattle were out grazing?

So: a little intentional wandering today, just to remind myself of how new everything still is, and how much there is to see.

After my grand adventure to the bookstore, I thought I would walk into town to get some lunch. Again, instead of heading in a direction that I thought I knew, I struck out toward undiscovered country… until I found myself downtown. Then I wandered some more, right into a pizza shop I had never eaten at before.

And the walk back to campus: the same thing. New headings, new paths.

I guess today I was becoming aware of how easy it is to lose Beginner’s Mind, even when I am still very much in the midst of new beginnings.

Then again, I also experienced how easy it is to nudge myself back into that awareness of all that is new, all around me.

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Day 210: Partition

Posted on July 29, 2014 by joshdaddy

Living in a smaller house, I am going to have a harder time finding a quiet space for writing. Take, for example, this very moment. I can barely concentrate, and just stringing together words in a sentence seems like quite a challenge.

It’s not as though everyone is running around the house being noisy–but with a limited amount of space, everyone is forced to think about the ways in which their activities have an impact on others. It may be that we will have to figure out some “house rules” on things like: how late is too late for playing video games, or watching television, or playing a guitar. But I am guessing it is also going to mean that I am going to have to figure out how much “quiet” I can realistically expect–and how (and when and where) I can do the daily writing that I’ve managed to maintain for the past 30 weeks.

Don’t get me wrong–there are plenty of quiet moments around here. Just not here and now. Which leads me to three possible solutions to my current dilemma:

  1. Stomp around the house, shout at everyone to be quiet, and reclaim my writing time;
  2. Surrender to the noise, give up on writing, and go watch some reality television; or
  3. Find a time, and a space, for writing that works for me and my family

Let’s assume I’m going with option three for now.

What about the porch, for example? Sure, it’s a bit chilly right now, but why am I in an upstairs loft on a computer, exposed to every passing sound in the house, instead of writing on the laptop on the porch?

And why have a drifted into late night writing? Perhaps writing in the morning (when the house is truly silent) would allow me to write in a less distracting environment?

And there are other options too.

The question is really this: How can I manage to partition my time, my space, and my expectations to allow for a balanced approach to writing at home?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Day 209: Settle

Posted on July 28, 2014 by joshdaddy

Settle is one of those words that has a bad reputation. As in: settling for less.

But what I have in mind here is something more like: settle into.

Or better yet: settle down.

There are boxes everywhere, but slowly things are getting unpacked. And yes, as I had expected, even though we have downsized quite a bit, we are still surrounded by what seems like way too much stuff. So I’m sure there will be more casting off to do.

It would be easy to let the clutter of boxes get to me. And off and on today, I could feel my stress level start to inch upward.

But tonight, at dinner, something else happened. I was tired, and I was looking as tired as I felt. My youngest came up to me and gave me a hug. And at that moment, I could feel my center of gravity shift. If only slightly. If only for a moment. The boxes didn’t matter. We were here. We had arrived at our new home.

And I know that settling takes a little time. There’s a certain gentleness to setting. Nothing that is forced into place ever settles well.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Day 208: Abridge

Posted on July 28, 2014 by joshdaddy

It’s another 2am posting!

Ok, this has got to stop… And I think it has. I finally cleared out the basement and packed up everything in the old house. Ok maybe not everything; there might be a couple of strays tucked away in a closet or two. And there’s some tools and sundry neatly stacked in the basement.

But done, nonetheless.

I feel like “the move” is over. Now I can simply be here.

I am writing this entry on my phone to force myself to keep this one short. Tomorrow is a work day… And I have relatives visiting as well.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Day 207: Assess

Posted on July 27, 2014 by joshdaddy

Well, here we are again at 2am, blogging in an empty house.

Almost empty, that is. I’ve completely cleared out the upstairs, plus everything downstairs, with the exception of the kitchen and the living room. And I need to pack up all those boxes into the van (if they fit). Oh, and then there’s the basement, the basement….

But right now, I have to stop for the night. Because here’s the thing–I want to push myself just a little bit further. I don’t think I need to do anything else tonight. Sure, there is stuff to be done tomorrow, but I have until 4pm before I need to get back on the road. So why push myself?

Because that’s what I do. It’s an ego thing, I’m sure. And it shows itself in other ways too.

I could have accepted some help from a friend earlier tonight, but I didn’t. And I could have slept at another friend’s house in an empty room, instead of on the floor of this house, but I didn’t accept that offer either.

Slugging it out until 2am all by myself isn’t really living the simpler life, is it?

And so now here I am: pushing myself just a little bit further… by writing this blog entry.

So instead of pushing myself even further, I’m going to call it a night.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Day 206: Hunker

Posted on July 26, 2014 by joshdaddy

Well, it’s not exactly camping, but I am “roughing it” in a way–I’m back at our house in Atlanta for (hopefully) the final weekend of clear out and clean up. There’s no furniture left, so I’m sleeping on a sleeping bag and eating microwaveable food.

I know, I know: it’s not exactly my most enlightened of entries.

In fact, tonight is really not much more than a check-in. I’ve only been here four or five hours, and I’ve already done quite a bit. And I’ve already been through a whole range of emotions–from the disappointment of seeing just how much still needs to be done when I first walked in the door…to the exhilaration of walking out of a room and declaring it “done.”

Tomorrow: I have to tackle the basement….

OK, it’s 2am. Time to hunker down and get some sleep.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments