I retired my old alarm clock during the big purge. Now my phone wakes me up every morning. I set it to a song, usually changing it every few weeks just to have some variety. Right now, my wake up song is “First Day of my Life” by Bright Eyes. So the first thing I am hearing every morning is:
This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
And that got me thinking.
I suppose it’s quite the cliché–you know: today is the first day of the rest of my life–but today I have been thinking about beginnings. I probably have reflected more on living each moment as though it were my last, but I haven’t really focused as much on the inverse of that sentiment: that every day (every moment, really) I have the opportunity to start anew.
And even though I am developing all sorts of routines, there is still so much that is new about every day. The trick, really, is just being aware enough to see it.
Well, there’s another trick too, I suppose–and that’s to let go. That’s something else I’ve reflected on before: there’s so much I still hold onto–from yesterday, or last year, or even just five minutes ago–when all I have to do is just let it go.
So what would it be like if I were to try to live today and not some shadow of yesterday or fantasy of tomorrow?
So what did all of this mean in practice, today? Mostly, it meant catching myself getting caught up in my thoughts, and then trying to let them go and instead pay attention to what was going on right in front of me. Most of the time, to be honest, it was nothing exciting: hey look at me: I’m sitting at a desk! But regardless of how uneventful that moment might be, it is the moment I am actually living.
So why not live it–and live it as the beginning of something new.
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you’d just woke up.