Day 85: Adventure

IMG_2150I came across the following from some English Friends recently: “Live adventurously…. Let your life speak.”

I love the sound of that, and I think I do try to live as fully as I can. But I am also aware of how easy it is to get stuck in the same patterns of being and behaving. So today, I tried a little experiment–maybe not quite the Grand Adventure, but a little adventurous detour from my familiar paths.

Every workday, after dropping off my son and his two classmates, I head down the road, make a left, then a right, drive about two miles, and then get on the highway to head to work.

This morning, though, I made a left, then a right, drove about two miles… and then kept going straight.

Sure, I was vaguely aware of where I was going. I needed to head north, and I was heading north. I needed to cross the Chattahoochee, and eventually the road would dead-end into another road that led across the river. But I had never gone this way to work before. In fact, I am not sure I had ever really explored this part of the city.

I put on my Google Maps directions, which kept giving me instructions on how to get back to the highway. Google Lady would say: “Turn Left,” and I would keep going straight; “Make a U-Turn,” and I would keep going straight. I kept waiting for her to say: “Fine. Don’t listen to me. See if I care.”

Eventually, though, I came up on a turn for Paper Mill Rd., which seemed to be the turn I would have to make if I was going to get to work this morning. I followed the road–absolutely certain I had never been on it before. It was a very pretty drive.

Then I saw the sign for the Sope Creek Trails. I remembered hearing mention of this patch of the Chattahoochee Recreation Area before–maybe–but it was a new location for me. My calendar was empty for the morning, and it was still early, so I decided to pulled in.

IMG_2157I took a 20-minute walk through the woods–down a trail, across a small creek, then onto a pond and back to the car. Suddenly, I forgot I was in the city–or rather, I was reminded that the natural world was all around me, all the time.

It was a delightful way to start the day–and totally unplanned and unexpected. I experienced a new and beautiful location within my city, and I got to spend 20 minutes in nature before spending the rest of the day at work. As I said, not exactly a Grand Adventure, but the point here is in the attempt to create these moments for chance, experimentation, and novelty within each day–and then to see the day anew.

Even if it only means taking a detour from my morning commute and walking in the woods.

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Day 84: Celebrate

Geez, I feel like maybe I should hunt around the house for something to de-clutter, what with all these introspective posts–but really today is all about celebrating, and I guess it follows naturally on yesterday’s post as well.

But in particular, I am celebrating my oldest child’s birthday. I know it’s a cliché, but I can’t believe he is already 14 years old.

When I asked him what he wanted for dinner tonight, he told me lamb chops with mint jelly. He was genuinely surprised when I said yes; he told me he thought that would be too much work and was half-joking when he asked for it. That’s sort of typical of him. He doesn’t ask for much, expects nothing, and is satisfied with what he has. And yes, this is the same child whose favorite movie last year was Into the Wild. I think this whole living simply and deliberately thing comes to him pretty naturally.

Of course, I celebrate my entire family; they are all wonderful in their own ways. Today, I just happen to have an excuse to single out my oldest for the day. And everyone deserves that sort of attention now and then.

And what about me? In theory, sure–I celebrate myself. On a day to day basis, though, I’m not sure I really do. So today’s a reminder to do that as well.

So, after I hit “Publish,” I am going to tell everyone in my family something about each of them that I celebrate; and then I’m going to take a moment to read a little Whitman.

I celebrate myself;
And what I assume you shall assume;
For every atom belonging to me, as good belongs to you.

–Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”

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Day 83: Accept

I’m going to keep tonight’s post pretty short–in part because I’m feeling just a bit too “in process” right now to formulate my thoughts… and in part because I am just a little bit too tired on a Monday evening.

But today, I’ve been reflecting on something my wife pointed out to me yesterday: I have a hard time accepting gifts. I’m not sure where that comes from, really, but it’s true. And ironically, my life is an abundance of gifts. Right now, for instance, is a kind of gift.

Normally, when I think about “acceptance,” I’m focusing on a different flavor–something more like: “accepting the things I cannot change.” But it strikes me as equally important that I learn to acknowledge and accept all the gifts that I have, and all the good fortune I have received, and continue to receive, each and every day.

Ultimately, I guess I’m talking about gratitude.  It’s as simple as that.

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Day 82: Prepare

A few weeks back I mentioned that I might be about to face some life-changing decisions that will have an impact on my entire family–and my tendency to overthink things and project too far into the future (and usually toward worst case scenarios). Well, it looks like that decision may be upon me within the next few days….

I was hanging out with some Friends again this morning and got to thinking about the phrase “prepare the way.” Now, putting aside the explicit Isaiah or New Testament contexts for this phrase (or, if you grew up around the time I did, the Godspell reference), what I was reflecting on–the query I ended up with, really–is: if I trust that a hopeful moment is opening before me, what do I need to do to prepare its way?

I cringe a bit when I start composing “one of those” entries, but I am also trying to be as honest as I can be about where I’m at and what I’m working through….

Don’t get me wrong–I am excited about the path that seems to be opening up before me; what I am resisting, though, is charging blindly into a decision based on the things that usually motivate me when I’m off center, namely: fear and ego.

My wife points out to me that I sometimes seem to have a struggle accepting gifts. There’s probably some of that going on here as well….

At any rate: my focus today has been twofold: trusting and believing that if I attend to good guidance, from within and from outside as well, I will be led in the right direction; and preparing, as best I can, for the way to open.

Simple stuff, right?

As it turns out, one of those Friends had a book to recommend on “finding your way,” which I now own–and will start reading after dinner!

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Day 81: Shred

Sorry–no pictures of the big cardboard box and 13-gallon trash bag full of work- and home-related documents that needed shredding. The truth is: today’s project was so easy, and went by so quickly, it was over before I even had a chance to snap a photo.

A couple of times a year, the town next door has a major recycling event–electronics, old paint and household toxins, etc. plus a shred collection. I’ve had a bag down the basement in which I’ve been tossing out old bank statements and the like whenever I come across them in other de-cluttering activities; on top of that, we have a box for gathering my wife’s work-related faxes and case notes. All of that went away in about five minutes at a single drop-off, and what a relief it was.

Unfortunately, I didn’t realize today was shred day until about an hour before it ended. I probably could have dug a little deeper and pulled out more useless paper to shred, but that will have to wait for another day.

Just like with catalogs, though, there’s a better solution to this problem of “confidential clutter” building up in the house. The work stuff, well that’s unavoidable. But why do I still have paper records coming from credit card companies and banks, when all the information I need is available online? As a follow-up to today, I’m going to see which documents I can simply stop receiving in the mail, then I will have less to shred.

Oh–and today was a bonus day–I also got rid of all of that Styrofoam! OK, not all of it–just what would fill up the back of the van.

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Day 80: Purge

IMG_2136OK, today’s focus should be a maintenance activity, I realize–but it seems like our fridge is always overflowing with tubs of leftovers, half-empty pickle jars, and an odd assortment of sauces and pastes that rarely, if ever, get used.

So tonight I did a quick clear-out of the fridge, and yup–found some stuff that should have gone away a long time ago. And yes, I spared you pictures. Some things I’ve learned: pickled beets should never be brown. Ever. And it turns out if you leave kimchi unattended for a really long time, it will in fact grow fur.

Yeah, kinda nasty.

But those were the extreme exceptions. Most of what we had piled up were leftovers, many that we only still had in the fridge on the idea that we would use them for dog scraps. But now that the dog is home from the hospital and on a bland diet, the 8-day old meatloaf went into the trash, along with quite a few other ghosts-of-meals-past.

IMG_2138I have to say that throwing away all that food didn’t quite feel right. Not that I was going to sit down and eat furry kimchi and old meatloaf for dinner tonight, but it really emphasized for me that my “living simply” experiment for today is really way too long after the fact. What I really need to focus on is: how much food do we bring into the house? How much do we prepare for dinner? Can we finish up leftovers before making a new meal (and generating more leftovers)? And so on.

I wouldn’t say we are overly wasteful (tonight we had chicken and dumplings made from the leftovers of a roast chicken). But still–we could certainly pay closer attention to what, when–and ultimately why–we consume what we do.

From the first kitchen project it was clear to me just how much abundance we have, yet I hardly ever notice it. A bit more attention to careful consumption is always in order….

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Day 79: Flush

IMG_2128We have two bathroom closets, and both are in pretty bad shape. I tackled the downstairs one first, because I’m still a little overwhelmed by the thought of taking on the upstairs bathroom.

There’s a whole lot of nothing in this closet, but it still turned out to be slower work than I had expected. There were a lot of old vitamins and supplements piled up in there–some of it stuff I’d never even heard of. Also we have way too many towels stowed here, many of which we have designated “spill rags” since they are so tattered. I also found remnants of baby-days tucked in the faraway reaches–a pair of swim diapers, infant-sized sunglasses–that sort of thing.

I managed to pull together two full trash bags–one for the landfill, and one for donation. Not a bad haul for one small closet!

But here is something unusual–in all of that unnecessary clutter, I actually found two things that I had forgotten about entirely, which had somehow managed to work their way into deep storage IMG_2129in this closet. The first was a small bracelet that I got for my daughter several years back on a trip to China. At the time she was too young to wear it so we hid it away–apparently a bit too well. The other find was a small, silver turtle that my brother had given me probably 25 or 30 years ago. Its shell opens on a hinge. I always thought of it as a special little trinket.

The bracelet is now upstairs with the rest of my daughter’s modest collection of jewelry, and the silver turtle now sits on my dresser. I’m happy to have unearthed both.

The rest of the stuff–not exactly what I would call treasure!

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Day 78: Share

I’ve had similar posts to this one before, I know–but today was another day where the focus seemed to be on connecting with others, appreciating what they had to share, and thanking them for their hard work.

We had a daylong symposium today that my department coordinated: a roundtable in the morning, followed by a panel discussion and a keynote speaker. Probably a dozen people or more contributed to the effort. And everything went off without a hitch.

It’s important for me to note that not everything happened the way I would have planned it–and that was perfectly fine.

Yes, I can be a bit of a control freak, so just letting go can be a challenge. But what I discover in the process (another “major” insight coming here folks!) is that if I can give up the “lead” on some projects, I open up a space for others to share their insights and help shape an evolving conversation.

I truly appreciated the opportunity to be able to see so many of my colleagues share their thoughts and make connections between their own work and the work of their peers–many of whom they see every day without realizing the potential points of contact between their professional interests. Sure, we put on the symposium for a wider audience than ourselves, but it was clear to me today that we were the true beneficiaries of our efforts.

So, was today “my” event? Hardly. I am happy I helped get the ball rolling to coordinate and organize the event….

And I’m even happier that I let it go to become something that I could take part in as a peer amongst peers.

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Day 77: Visit

It was another long day with obligations running well into the evening….

Our family dog is still at a veterinary hospital, but stable. We had all agreed to go and visit the dog, but as our schedules worked out, we ended up going in two shifts–me alone, and my wife with the kids.

I am glad that I visited him, but as I was sitting in the visiting room petting him, I had to wonder: who was the visit for—me or the dog?

It was clear that the dog was happy to see me, and I was relieved to see him doing so much better. And obviously it’s not an either/or thing–I’m sure we both got something out of my fifteen minutes with him tonight.

But what I mean is: to some degree, visiting our family pet–on my own–felt different to me, as though somehow I was shifting a relationship in some meaningful way.

When we all got back home together, it seemed my middle child must have been attuned to the same thing, because he asked me to describe for him how Finn the Dog responded to my visit. I told him in as much detail as I could recall how he greeted me, and how I greeted him.

It was then it dawned on me that maybe my visit tonight to see the dog was for my son more than me or the dog.

Funny how that works….

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Day 76: Calm

Well, this is not the post I was planning on writing this evening….

We had a bit of a family pet emergency. Still not sure exactly what happened, but our family dog went into major intestinal distress, resulting in a late evening trip to the emergency veterinary hospital, where he is still resting. He was severely dehydrated with critically low blood pressure, but it appears he is now stable.

The kids were upset, as you can imagine. And so were my wife and I.

When we came home from the emergency room, we explained to the kids the seriousness of his condition, but that he was getting the care he needed. We were honest, frank, but calm.

I tend to go in two directions–either very calm or very hysterical. And I tend to be out of sync with the scale of the events: so I am more likely to be nuts over something small and very even-keeled in a major crisis.

I’m not sure exactly where things fell tonight on that spectrum. It was definitely scary for the kids to see their pet in such bad shape. But I managed to remain calm, and more importantly, communicate that calm to them.

The odd thing is: I can’t really think of a situation where being calm doesn’t help.

I still have lots of goings-on at work, with all sorts of opportunities for me to freak out. But the more I can approach these situations with an intention toward calmness, and creating calm, the better off I am–and the better off others are as well, I would assume.

And of course the same goes for the good stuff. In the face of success, reward, and positive opportunities, my situation only improves if I can face struggles and blessings alike with equal calm.

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