Day 325: Agree

Posted on November 21, 2014 by joshdaddy

Well, it’s been an exhausting back and forth during this “due diligence” period, with more than a couple of extensions on that two week window. But tonight, all that financial ping pong has come to a close. We have a binding agreement to sell our home.

So why do I feel so grumpy?

I guess the truth is: for all of my emphasis on living simply and reducing excess, I am not immune from thinking we should have gotten more.

I know that compared to many people who have sold a home in the past few years, we are in good shape. So maybe it’s just a species of greed. Or maybe it’s something else–a different kind of insecurity, driven less by the desire to have more–and more by the fear that somehow, someway, someone is getting the best of me.

And I know that objectively, we have come to a fair agreement. Each party has made a good faith effort to reach a point of mutual compromise. But that doesn’t necessarily dispel that lingering feeling.

So I’m feeling the feeling. But now it’s time to move on.

So for the rest of tonight, I think I will try to focus on the agreement, and less on what my head tells me should have been acceptable terms.

 

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Day 324: Near

Posted on November 20, 2014 by joshdaddy

Well, here we are, in the home stretch. Tomorrow marks the final 40 days of this daily blog.

Tonight’s entry is another one of those postings in which I write a few sentences, then delete them, and start all over again. I’m not sure exactly what to write tonight, or what exactly I’m mulling over, other than the fact that as I come closer to Day 365, I find myself asking more and more often: come December 31, then what?

I don’t feel the need to continue on with another round of entries. Nor do I feel that somehow I will have accomplished some mission that will finally be complete.

So the question remains:

What will I take away from this year, and where will it lead me?

It’s been a while since I’ve taken time to review previous postings, so I am sure I will be doing more of that as we head into the final month. And I’m sure I’ll be guilty of writing a few more “meta-posts” during those final 40 days as well.

For tonight, though, I think I am comfortable just having those questions in mind–and being open to see what comes next.

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Day 323: Phase

Posted on November 19, 2014 by joshdaddy

I was going to call this one “moon,” but that was just a little too silly, even for me….

I’ve been reading a chapter tonight in preparation for tomorrow’s class–the author is discussing the pace of life in a digital age, and our loss of a lived time to a temporality better suited to circuits and networks. At one point in the chapter, he talks about how this same technology–our smartphones and laptops–could serve as tools to put us back into our natural cycles (think biorythms) and the cycles of the planet. How many of us right now, he notes, are aware of the phase of the moon?

An excellent point.

My first impulse, I have to admit was: let’s Google it and find out. Then a radical idea came to me: what if I were to walk outside and look at the night sky?

Which is what I did. It’s another cold night up in the mountains, though not as cold as last night. The sky is clear and filled with stars. I searched for the moon… and couldn’t find it anywhere. I wasn’t entirely convinced it was a new moon, but it seemed to be. Was the moon hiding behind the house? Low on the horizon behind the trees? Not yet risen? And where on the horizon would the moon rise on November 19?

I came back inside, carrying a bit of the cold night with me. I’ll admit it. I did ultimately search online to confirm what I didn’t see in the sky–and discovered that the moon is in its final waning days–almost a new moon.

A couple of years ago, I made a habit of looking to the night sky every evening, just to take note of the waxing and waning of the moon. It’s startling that such a thing, so important to humans for so many thousands of years, would lose all reference (except, perhaps, as an online reference).

It might be time, once again, to attend a bit more closely to the cycles and phases of the sky.

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Day 322: Bundle

Posted on November 19, 2014 by joshdaddy

No, not the cable and the internet….

It was 12 degrees this morning when I went out to the car. The kids’ schools were closed, but not the university, so off I went, bundled up against the cold.

Today was our seventh day of snowfall since November 1, and the coldest day by far. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to deal with winter–a true winter.

And I’m really enjoying it.

Perhaps the novelty will wear off in a few months, but for now, feeling the cold air against my face, seeing my breath, hearing the snow underneath my feet–all of those sensations of winter feel so new, and so right for this time of year.

And the gratitude I have for a warm, safe home is tangible as well.

It should be another cold morning tomorrow. Winter is definitely here.

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Day 321: Recompose

Posted on November 17, 2014 by joshdaddy

So I’ve been trying to do a little better with food waste. I’m letting go of that fear of not having enough when it comes to family dinner, which means I’m having fewer leftovers. And the kids, good sports that they are, never complain as leftovers work their way into lunchboxes. All of this means that we are throwing away less spoiled food than we used to–but we are not anywhere close to “zero food waste.”

Part of the problem, I’m sure, is my resistance to having clear-the-fridge leftovers-for-dinner night. I’m pretty bound, for better or for worse, to the notion that any night’s dinner should be its own, not a rerun of the night before.

The solution? Recomposing leftovers into something new.

It’s not the first time I’ve done something like that (that’s what quesadillas are for, right?) but I was pretty pleased with the number of leftover dishes I tackled in one go. Some leftover chicken broth, combined with the last two slices of ham, some roasted potatoes, and leftover beans all combined into a very tasty ham and bean soup.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we managed to eat all of the soup. Now we have leftover leftovers.

So you can guess what I am having for lunch tomorrow….

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Day 320: Commune

Posted on November 16, 2014 by joshdaddy

When I drove up to Virginia yesterday, I was a little concerned about early morning ice, so I opted to take the I-77 to I-81. Today, on the drive back, I decided to take the more back road path, down through the Virginia Highlands and into East Tennessee before crossing back into North Carolina.

I had an interesting experience on the drive home. I had been in the New River Valley, which is beautiful in its own way, to be certain, but it didn’t quite have that same feel for me that I get in my new home in the mountains–that feeling of place. As I started southwest, though, and into the Highlands, I could literally feel myself relax. By the time I was driving along Laurel Creek in Tennessee, I had that distinct feeling that I was back home.

And it’s good to be home.

This evening, our town held a “Hometown Harvest”–an open invitation to the community to bring a covered dish to share at a communal dinner at the fire station, and whatever canned goods we could donate for a local food drive. I don’t think we have many more than 1,200 year-round residents in our town, so it was pretty amazing to see just how many people showed up, and just what an abundance of food we all had to share. It’s the kind of thing that I am sure happens in small towns in many places–but it was the first time my family had been to one.

And for me, at least, it was the first time I felt drawn into a close-knit community in that way. I suppose that’s what people mean when they talk about a connection to their home town. How strange to think it’s taken almost fifty years to get here!

So I will say it again: It’s good to be home.

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Day 319: Reposition

Posted on November 15, 2014 by joshdaddy

I think I’ve probably quoted Emerson enough over the past 45 weeks, so I will leave it to you to find the “life only avails” passage on your own–but once again, I find myself reflecting on the wonders of “becoming,” and how doubly wonderful it is to realize that it’s the process of becoming that is the truly exhilarating part, not the thing-I-will-become.

Well, that sounds unnecessarily philosophical. Let’s be more concrete.

Here I am, participating in a conference in southwestern Virginia, surrounded by scholars, archivists, and public historians in Appalachian Studies. Tomorrow, a group of us from this conference will be drafting up plans for a collaborative, scholarly publication.

And Appalachian Studies is not my field of research. Or at least it hasn’t been until now.

So I ask myself (with apologies to David Byrne): “Well….How did I get here?”

I knew that many things would change as we moved from Atlanta to the mountains of North Carolina, and I knew many things would change at work as well, as I moved to a very different kind of university. What I hadn’t anticipated, though, was how the rich sense of place that defines Appalachia would work its way into some of my ongoing research and student-driven projects. And where all this will lead is entirely unknown.

What a relief it is to be reminded that I really don’t know what the future holds for me. All I can do is be open to this unfolding present, and allow it to become what it may.

 

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Day 318: Absolve

Posted on November 14, 2014 by joshdaddy

Well, it looks like tonight is going to be another “miss”; I could crank something out, to be sure, but honestly it would be pretty contrived. The truth is: it’s getting late, and I need to be in my car and driving by 5:30am. So off to bed I go.

When I look back over the year, I really have only had a few of these thin posts. I always feel a little guilty, though, when I don’t post something in keeping with the spirit of this yearlong experiment–which I know is pretty silly.

So tonight I’m absolving myself and passing on a post, guilt-free.

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Day 317: Consult

Posted on November 13, 2014 by joshdaddy

I am really not one to run out to the doctor. But I also don’t actively avoid seeking treatment when necessary. So today, after six or seven weeks of elbow pain, I decided I should make an appointment with an orthopedist.

Actually, I have an appointment with a physician’s assistant, but close enough for now.

I think things are improving or so they seem to be. In fact, I had that amusing experience today in which shortly after getting off of the phone with the doctor’s office, all of my pain seemed to vanish. I was tempted to call back to say “nevermind,” but I had a feeling that twinge would show up again before bedtime.

Which it did.

So, off I go tomorrow morning, to consult someone with more training and more experience in dealing with tendonitis than this nearly-50-year-old man.

Seeking help can be such a challenge sometimes. I know I don’t have all the answers, so why would I hesitate to consult others who might be able to assist?

I’ve got a three letter word for that….

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Day 316: Arrange

Posted on November 12, 2014 by joshdaddy

It’s a Throwback Wednesday–or something like that. Back to making a simple change around the house to use space more intentionally.

The cable guy came out to the house today, which meant I had to leave work early to let him in. I used these two extra kid-free hours at home to tend to something I have begun to notice:

Things are settling on shelves, and counters, and desks–and becoming unseen.

In many ways, I’m revisiting an old problem from our old house–it was the plight of our living room and our dining room table. But we are in a different house now–and the difference is this: for the longest time, whenever we would visit this house, we would be hyper-vigilant in keeping the place in order. Now that we are living here, and have been under this roof for about four months, I’ve noticed how we have all stopped attending to the spread of disorder, from surface to surface.

But why should I care less about my home than I do when I am visiting some other person’s home as a guest? I suppose we all do, at some level–but does that really make any sense?

So today, I took on just a few surfaces that had already achieved an initial, sedimentary layer. First: the tables and counters in the den. Then: the “sidebar” counter in the kitchen. And finally: the desk at which I am now sitting.

A few subtle arrangement, some trips to the trashcan and the recycling bin–and once again, I have a sense that I am caring for the spaces of my everyday life.

Not bad for a couple of hours’ work!

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