Day 305: Lag

Posted on November 1, 2014 by joshdaddy

OK, I know that Georgia and North Carolina are in the same time zone, but I really do feel like I’m jet lagged.

Sure, maybe it’s because I was up too late last night, spending time with old friends, and then up too early to get on the road for a five hour drive… but still, I felt just a tad out of sync when I got back home this afternoon.

It had been snowing all day–a couple of inches at least, but with the wind gusting up to 50 mph, in some places the grass was showing through, while in other places we had drifts of six or more inches.

The kids had been out all morning, so by the time I came home they were back inside warming up by the fire my oldest son had started. It was quite the welcoming scene.

I was happy to be back, and happy to see my family–but at the same time I felt just a touch out of step with the rhythm of the household, as though a part of me hadn’t quite made it through the front door.

By dinner, the feeling had passed. I was back home–mind, body, and soul.

It’s getting onto midnight now. The wind is howling outside, and I’m about to fall asleep in my own bed for the first time in several days. It’s good to be home. And it’s good to feel at home.

 

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Day 304: Facilitate

Posted on October 31, 2014 by joshdaddy

I’m checking out of my hotel today (that’s been a little odd–staying in a hotel in what had been my home town!) and tonight I am staying at a friend’s. Tomorrow, I head back up to the mountains.

So I am faced with a choice: try to tap out today’s blog entry on my phone, in the midst of packing up the last of stored boxes at my old house, or bother my friend for wifi access, and hole up in my room late tonight writing an entry.

Or, I could write today’s post now. It’s been a good strategy in the past.

So: I’m going to make things a little easy on myself today. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?

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Day 303: Return

Posted on October 31, 2014 by joshdaddy

I’ve been in Atlanta for the past 36 hours or so, and today I had a chance to swing by our old house. I felt no nostalgia, no longing. I didn’t experience the uncanny either. It was just a house.

It’s not as though I am immune to nostalgia. Goodness knows I can get sentimental. But for whatever reason–I felt nothing as I wondered through the empty rooms.

The same thing driving around my neighborhood, and past stores and supermarkets and other places that were such a part of my daily routines in Atlanta.

Nothing.

It seems all that I have here that roots me to this area in any way are the people who still live here. Other than that, there isn’t much left in this city that binds me to this place.

It’s a bit odd to think that after more than two decades in this city I could uproot so easily.

Is it me, or the place? Or perhaps this place never was a place for me.

I’m not too sure exactly what that last sentence means, so perhaps I will just leave it at that.

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Day 302: Sign

Posted on October 29, 2014 by joshdaddy

So I am back in Atlanta for the next few days, attending a workshop–and visiting with some friends. It’s good to see my friends, that’s for sure, but to be honest there isn’t a lot about the city that I’m missing. Sure, I had good Cuban food tonight, and tomorrow I will probably have momos (and bahn mi on Friday), but other than the food, I have what I need in my new home town.

I haven’t been by the old house yet, but I will have to stop by and load up some boxes that we still have stored there–

Because, if all goes well, we will be under contract to sell that house.

We’ve negotiated back and forth with a potential buyer, but today was the day I let go of whatever was holding me back (that final claim to a final dollar, or perhaps that sense of needing to make sure no one “got over” on me) and signed the latest counter-offer.

It’s good enough. More importantly, it’s a major milestone in moving on to yet another level of moving on.

We will see if everything goes well. For tonight, though, it feels good to have let go.

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Day 301: Dispell

Posted on October 29, 2014 by joshdaddy

Well, some things are predictable. If I stay up late too many nights in a row, I will start to see things devolve. I start getting headaches. I get grumpy. My outlook turns sour.

So that’s where I am at today.

And of course, here it is, just after midnight, and I need to get up extra-early tomorrow for a long drive. So it looks like I’ve set myself up for another rough day. So much for learning from one’s errors.

What’s bad, though, is not so much how I feel right now, but rather how familiar it is. It’s been a while since I’ve let myself get so far out of whack, so it was a little startling how easily I slipped back into being that grumpier, more acidic version of me.

So, technically the day has passed, but it’s never too late to start over. Sure, I will be tired again tomorrow, but I have an opportunity to rest up over the next few days.

And that’s what I plan to do.

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Day 300: Recognize

Posted on October 27, 2014 by joshdaddy

Wow–300 days.

Don’t mean to get too meta on this one, or too self-congratulatory, but that number seems worth acknowledging. I don’t think I will do any formal assessment of what I’ve covered over those 300 days, as I’ve done in the past. Tonight, I think it will suffice simply to recognize that I’ve managed to keep to a daily practice for quite a few twenty-four hours. Sure, some of those posts have been a bit thin (like tonight’s I suppose), but there is something worth acknowledging in keeping to this daily discipline.

 

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Day 299: Deal

Posted on October 26, 2014 by joshdaddy

Today, I had three tasks that demanded my attention. Not one of them was something that I wanted to do today. And at not a single moment during each of these activities did I find myself thinking: Here I am! In the moment! But each task was pressing in its own way, and each task needed to be addressed now.

So: I was a champion of the mundane today. I dealt with the tasks that were pressing on me, in order of their relative importance:

Task #1: Snaking the toilet

Task #2: Countering an offer on our house in Atlanta

Task #3: Completing my open enrollment healthcare options

And now they are done. There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?

Of the three, I think the first one came closest to being an exercise in mindfulness!

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Day 298: Stretch

Posted on October 25, 2014 by joshdaddy

I have never done any yoga–maybe someday I will, but today was not the day. All I did today was just a little stretching.

I was outside today–a pretty long hike to a new crag, and then some good climbing. Tonight, though, I’m feeling just a little tight. Nothing injured, but still: I can feel a little knot in my neck and trap.

I figure I have two choices: I could ignore what I’m feeling and just hope tomorrow I don’t feel worse, or I could take a few moments tonight to loosen up those muscles.

So I’m stretching. Again: feel free to insert moral here 🙂

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Day 297: Remake

Posted on October 24, 2014 by joshdaddy

My wife has been out of town for the past three days. No, I am not the stereotypical “helpless husband.” I can keep the kids fed and safe, and the house in relative order.

But things do get a bit haphazard around the edges.

On my own, I start drift. For the last three nights, for example: I have fallen asleep on the couch, reading in front of the fire. Then, sometime around 1:30 or 2:00, I wake up and shuffle my way off to bed. Sure I’m getting a full night’s sleep–just not in the same location.

I was reflecting on my disheveled sleeping pattern this morning as I was passing by my equally disheveled bed. I’ve written before about bed-making as a small, simple act that can make a difference in my day. So in preparation for my wife’s return,  I took that little bit of extra time this morning to make the bed.

And when I came home from work, I asked the kids to straighten out the pillows on the couch, and put away their clothes, and in general tidy up.

And I made sure to load up the dishwasher too.

The truth is: while I can keep the house in order by myself, it’s just a little more challenging to keep the house in order for myself. Like I said: on my own, I start to drift.

In about a half hour, my wife will be pulling in the driveway. She will be happy to see me, and happy to be home. And I will have the pleasure of knowing I made that I took steps to make that home just a little less chaotic and a little more serene.

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Day 296: Chat

Posted on October 23, 2014 by joshdaddy

No world-changing revelations tonight–just some small talk with strangers at a pizza joint.

My middle child had a field trip today–they didn’t get back until around 6:30. After I picked him up, I decided to take the kids out to a local pizza place. My wife is out of town, so it was just the four of us.

At the pizza place, my son recognized a couple of his classmates, who were also waiting to be seated. Apparently some other families had the same idea. He went over to talk to his friends, and I made eye contact with the parents, smiled, and gave them a nod hello.

Then I walked over and introduced myself.

I can’t say I’m a big fan of small talk with strangers, but it struck me that at this particular moment, that was exactly what I needed to do. Not for me, necessarily, but for my son. He was starting to build his own friendships and his own community, and it was my job to make that as easy for him to do as possible.

No, it wasn’t painful, and yes the conversation was about as mundane as you would expect. At the same time, it felt good to be doing just that in our new home town–talking with strangers, and watching us all transform into something else–maybe just acquaintances, sure, but something that connected us as a community.

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