Day 115: Thank

Posted on April 25, 2014 by joshdaddy

It will have to be a short post tonight–I have to head off to a work-related dinner, then I have evening plans following that, which will probably keep me out late. So just a quick post to check in….

This event that I am going to is a “VIP Dinner,” part of a two-day symposium we are co-sponsoring with some other institutions around town. I had planned to be more involved in this symposium, but the timing didn’t quite work out.

Since we are funding a good portion of this event, I received an invitation to this dinner, but to be honest, I certainly don’t feel very VIP. But as a good friend reminded me not too long ago, events like this have more to do with the people who are organizing them than the “guests of honor.”

So I am off to dinner now, and reminding myself that I am going for the organizers of this event, who have in fact pulled off a great symposium. And I am there really for one reason: to acknowledge a job well done.

That’s all for today–don’t want to be late!

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Day 114: De-gamify

Posted on April 25, 2014 by joshdaddy

IMG_2332Yes, I know that I just made up a word using another made-up word, and that I am not even using that word correctly….

We have two cabinets in our house with stacks of games. This one is in the front room; the other is tucked away in the living room. We also have a closet stuffed with games, toys, and craft supplies, but we’re not going to talk about that one today….

There are some games that we still play buried away in these two cabinets, but for the most part, the stuff that is squirreled away in here the kids have long outgrown–the 100 piece puzzles, the phonics games, etc. So the clutter creates a double problem here–not only are we holding onto a bunch of stuff that we don’t need, but it also creates a disincentive to try to dig out any of the board games we might actually want to play.

IMG_2334So that was my task today, and boy what a dent I made. I ended up with two stuffed garbage bags of puzzles and board games packed off to give to charity, plus a significant pile of miscellany that had somehow worked its way into the mix. Most of that lot was simply trash or recycling, but there was one true “treasure find”: six disposable cameras, plus a roll of film, just waiting to be developed. The roll of film is labeled “sky diving,” so I know what’s on there, and one of the disposable cameras is a waterproof number, which means it has snorkeling pictures from Key Largo. The other five cameras are complete mysteries. Tomorrow I will drop them off at the drug store to see what they contain.

And of course, I promise to shed most of those newly developed pictures, rather than allow them to become more clutter at the bottom of a drawer!

As with most of these de-clutter tasks, I am always amazed to discover just how much stuff we have lying around, and just how much of it is entirely superfluous. The more I can cast off at this point, I think, the more likely I will be to appreciate and use what we decide to retain.

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Day 113: Moderate

Posted on April 24, 2014 by joshdaddy

We only have about two months before we leave this house and move up to North Carolina. The house that we will be moving into for the next year is fully furnished, with little room for extra stuff. More likely than not, most of what we’ve surrounded ourselves with in our present house will be packed up into storage for quite some time.

When I look around at all that stuff, I am torn. On one hand, it’s a daunting task–trying to figure out what to hold onto, and what to cast off.

But then I have this fleeting thought: wouldn’t it be easier to just let it all go?

I mean: if I were really to embrace minimalism, what would I really need to hold onto? Take all those books that I’ve been trying to chip away at, little by little. Would I really miss them if I were to clear out the entire lot?

And so on.

Of course, I don’t think I am really ready for that extreme a move–and I’m not sure it would really be the best solution to living more simply and deliberately.

It’s a question of balance and moderation.

So tonight, I took on a little task, but one that I could attack with a little more gusto than, say, my books.

Tucked away under the desk upstairs are three milk crates, dating back more than twenty years to grad school. They have traveled with me through four different moves. Two of them I use as makeshift shelves for (what else?) book overflow. The third one holds piles of old papers–newspaper and magazine clippings from my days as a freelance writer. I also have two briefcase-sized portable folio boxes, stuffed with duplicate checks, bank statements and other “important” papers.

Without too much thought, I managed to shed the two crates of books down to a single crate.  Most of the bank statements etc. went straight into a bag to be shred at some future date. And the stacks of old news clippings? I couldn’t commit to sorting through those (and I do think there’s some enduring value in these old pieces of writing), so I tucked them all into the two now-empty folio boxes.

The net result? I’ve eliminated two milk crates, a handful of books (plus some old magazines I was holding onto for no good reason), and half a bag’s worth of shred-worthy documents.

Not bad for a moderate night’s work!

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Day 112: Expire

Posted on April 22, 2014 by joshdaddy

IMG_2329So I’ve been trying to tackle my office in bits and spurts. I have been in the same space for eight years and have certainly built up a steady accretion of papers, books, and assorted detritus over the years. I dumped a bunch of journals two weeks back, spurred on by the recognition that they held little enduring value (other than as some sort of ego support for my professional identity), but there’s still lots more  to clear out.

Today I went through some file cabinet drawers, tossing away yellowed photocopies of articles and essays, handouts I haven’t used in years, etc. I found two, thick manilla envelopes filled with journal tear sheets–reprints of articles I had published back in the 1990s. I can’t think of a reason why I would need 25 print copies of an article when I could email a PDF to anyone who might request a copy (now there’s a thought!) far more easily.

But then I unearthed what must truly be the epitome of an office supply well past its expiration date: ten years’ worth of weekly calendars! I am sure I held onto these documents on the thought that some day in the future, I might want to look back at what I was doing on a random day twelve years ago….

No, I didn’t flip open to April 22, 2002 to have a little peek. Instead, I threw away the whole lot of them, without cracking a single page.

Perhaps some of you might argue that there is some historical value to documents like these old calendars–I mean: what better way to capture the minute details of a college administrator’s daily life than to have access to such precious records?

Yeah, right.

 

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Day 111: Maintain

Posted on April 21, 2014 by joshdaddy

Mondays are always a bit tough for me to get through more than just the basics. I have tended to focus on quick fix items for the most part–a bookshelf here or there; maybe some refrigerator magnets tossed away–that sort of thing.

So tonight, I’m wandering about the house thinking to myself: there must be something around here that’s easy to declutter, but all I can see are big, daunting tasks.

Meanwhile, the kitchen sink is somewhat overflowing with dishes, and the counters are not looking any better.

So I decide what I really need to do tonight is just do the best I can to maintain a little order, and do the daily.

I’m not sure how mindful I was in loading the dishwasher, but I did make a point of leaving the television off and trying to attend to the task at hand. It was pretty challenging just to stay present in the midst of such a mundane task.

Wow–I’m going to guess that this entry could well be the most boring entry in 111 days. I guess they can’t all be gems….

But there is something to be said about taking the time to do the task right in front of me, rather than hunting for some more “meaningful” way to live simply and deliberately.

 

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Day 110: Free

Posted on April 21, 2014 by joshdaddy

You know, I was all set to write about fishing–to tell you about simple pleasures, bringing my kids out to the lake, etc. I even had a cute picture of my youngest holding her first ever cast-out-on-her-own-and-reel-it-on-in catch.

But driving home from my in-laws, where we spent Easter, I started to think about the sorts of things that usually occupy my mind–the worries and anxieties that mostly take the form of: keep a look out–something bad is coming to take this all away! I’m not sure exactly where that feeling comes from; it’s not as though I had a childhood wracked with privation or trauma. Maybe some hours of therapy would help me get to the root cause, I suppose, but what struck me tonight–what I really felt, and not just understood–was that the vast majority of my daily suffering and discomfort is entirely of my own making.

I keep waiting for the proverbial second shoe–but the truth is, I imagined the first one.

Please don’t get me wrong. I know suffering is real; and I have been witness to heart-breaking loss. And of course I have suffered, and I know that at some point I will suffer again.

But what dawned on me tonight is this: it’s not just my wants and desires that I grasp too tightly. It’s my fears and anxieties as well.

So tonight, for a moment, I felt what it might be like if I were to free myself from self-made phantoms and fears. And it felt serene.

More likely than not, the anxieties and worries will creep back in. But with practice, I might just be able to hold them a bit more loosely…and then remember to just let go.

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Day 109: Bake

Posted on April 20, 2014 by joshdaddy

Sometimes as I’m writing these entries, I find myself wondering: how is this making my life simpler?

Like now, for instance. It’s well after midnight, and I am waiting for an Easter pie to finish baking. No, not the kind of pie you are thinking of, probably. This is over 6 lbs of pork and cheese baked inside pastry dough….

When I was a kid, my grandmother baked what we always called pizza gaina, which apparently doesn’t really exist. It’s actually a dialect or two removed from the Neapolitan pizza chiena, which is dialect for pizza ripiena, or stuffed pizza…

Which is really supposed to be called pizza rustica.

None of that really matters, though. I grew up with pizza gaina, and when I speak with my mother and father on the phone tomorrow morning to wish them a happy Easter, I will tell my mother that I did my best to recreate the pizza gaina that her mother used to make for all of us, when I was just a kid.

So, what did I do to live more simply today?

Probably nothing.

But I just pulled this amazing thing out of the oven, and in the morning, when the kids come downstairs, I plan to tell them about their great-grandmother, and how she would always have pizza gaina waiting for us when we went to see her on Easter.

And I think they will like that–perhaps even more than a chocolate bunny.

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Day 108: Observe

Posted on April 18, 2014 by joshdaddy

OK, I know I’ve “looked” already, but I have that other kind of “observe” in mind right now.

I was raised Catholic, but I think it’s safe to say: I’m not one now (I actually had a priest declare me an apostate, so I got that goin’ for me….) I have not observed Good Friday for years–and since I ate an enormous pastrami sandwich at Perry’s Deli today, let’s just say I’m not exactly keeping to Canon Law on fasting and abstinence. But today is a holy day for many, many people (though I feel obliged to note that it has unfortunately also been a day marred by anti-Semitic violence over the centuries as well). Given that so many people have marked this day as sacred, I thought that I would do something to observe that sacredness as well.

Across the street from my hotel is a Presbyterian church, done in the style of a barrel vault cathedral. It’s a beautiful structure, if somewhat anachronistic. Tonight, they had a choral service, sung in Latin and featuring music from Dave Brubeck’s Pange Lingua Variations. An eclectic performance/service, to say the least. It was quite beautiful, though, and quite something to be sitting amongst a congregation–some I am sure there just for the music, and some embracing the music as a form of worship. At the close of the service, though, came a moment that resonated strongly with me. Once the music and singing had finished, and the closing benediction had been given, the congregation sat is quiet meditation, while a single tower bell sounded, thirty-three times. At the end, we rose in silence and exited the church.

I can’t say that the experience was profoundly spiritual, or that I felt myself drawn back into the fold. But I did feel that I had managed to carve out a moment today that was unplanned, yet intentional and reflective–and in that regard, I do believe I observed the sacred of this day.

And needless to say: there’s an opportunity to observe the sacredness of the day every single day.

After the service, I took myself out to eat at a place around the corner called Friends Sushi, because, well, it just seemed too perfect to pass up!

 

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Day 107: Reconnect

Posted on April 18, 2014 by joshdaddy

So I’m at this conference–a conference I have been to for many years in a row. To some extent, this gig has become old hat. Which explains, perhaps, my surprise that something feels different today–something feels new. It wasn’t until I was sitting down with an editor to discuss a potential book project that it dawned on me: in all the shifts that are taking place in my life, professionally and personally, a space is opening up for me to get back into a discipline of writing.

And it wasn’t until some time later, walking back to my hotel this afternoon, that the irony of this “revelation” struck me: Hey–what do you think you have been doing every single day for the past three months? I haven’t bothered doing a word count since Day 59, but it’s got to be upwards of 45,000 words I’ve produced, one day at a time. That sounds like a discipline of writing to me!

The point is: from a very young age, I have always enjoyed writing. I did not think I would be writing academic material at the age of 12, that’s for sure, but I knew that I wanted to work with words. And I have done that for a long time.

But for the last couple of years, I would say that the administrative portion of my current job has slowly started to outweigh the creative and scholarly component. Sure, I enjoy some aspects of administration, but I have missed the writing.

So now I am writing, and the writing is opening up other opportunities to write more.

So what am I reconnecting with today? Myself, I suppose–or at least one facet of who I am.

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Day 106: Loosen

Posted on April 16, 2014 by joshdaddy

I’m not sure I can really put my finger on it, but today, I seem to be “in the flow.”

I’ve been traveling again–this time to Chicago for a conference. Sure, there was the discomfort of airport travel, and that long train ride in town from O’Hare, not to mention the cold….

But all of that was fine.

And I haven’t really nailed down my presentation 100%, so that leaves me just a day to finish things up….

And that’s fine too.

I was reading earlier today (yes, Nancy Bieber–I’m taking my time) about a practice of literally holding objects loosely in your hands as a way of reminding yourself not to grasp too tightly at things (figuratively, that is). I could immediately relate and connected it to rock climbing–I tend to over-grip, which instead of giving me any additional security, simply wears me out that much more quickly.

So maybe that’s what’s been going on today–for today, at least, I’ve managed to loosen my grip.

And it feels pretty good!

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